Getting and Keeping My Confidence

Confidence: (definition) belief in one's own abilities

All of us need confidence in our lives, to try to excel at the things we do, and to survive as well in a fast-pace society!

Self-respect: This is where it all begins, and these two words, could be the two most important words in the world. As I said previously, I took many, many hits from the migraine headaches, which nearly shattered my life, but despite the headaches and the gloom and doom, I have always had self-respect for myself! At my lowest and darkest moments, I have always liked myself, and I have always felt that I have a lot to offer, and can be a productive citizen, just like anyone else. I have had respect for myself and nobody can ever take that away from me!

For those people out there, who have been told over and over again that they are worthless and will never amount to anything, they have to find a positive/honest person, who they can trust, and they have to start working on getting your self-respect back. Getting back your confidence won't be easy, and will take time and patience.

Honesty: In recovery, a person MUST be honest with himself or herself! This is imperative! You can't be in denial about the things that have crossed your path, and that you are responsible for. Blaming everyone but yourself, is the easy way out, and you will never recover. If you can't be honest with yourself...who can you be honest with? If you lie to yourself...you're finished!

Negativism: Get rid of the negative people surrounding you, that are bringing you down! I don't like and I won't tolerate negative people around me...it's that simple! These people dwell on what they can't do...instead of what they can do. Many times, they're people of "put-down," and make no apologies for it. Jealousy. resentment...are what they bring with them, and I don't need these people to ruin my life!

Failure vs. set-back: I've never failed at anything! Although it took many years to get my confidence back, my confidence is high, because I never like to use the word, "failure!" Instead, I like to use the words "set-back." I do this, because I've never failed at anything...as long as I TRY...and, that's the most important thing...that I TRY! If I try, and don't make it, it's just another set-back! For the people who never TRY...they're the losers and failures of the world...not me!

I remember back, when I participated in all those arts and crafts shows, not everything was peaches and cream! I had my share of bombs! But, I did not fail at these shows...they were only set-backs! I was able to bounce back in the future, and win my share, etc. In life...you win a few and you lose a few!

Smart/Creative people: I've always liked to be around smart and creative people that I can learn from. And, this alone requires confidence. I've never been the fastest horse in the race...but, I'm not exactly a candidate for membership in the American Dufus Association, either!

Learner and a doer: I can proudly say, that I have always been a learner and a doer, and how important is that today, with all the technology and the rapid changes. "Jerry, can you solder?" No, but I can learn. "Jerry, can you run that machine over there?" No, but I can learn. "Jerry, do you know how to assemble these parts?" No, but I can learn!

Praise: Praise is never given out for free...it has to be earned. Over the years, I have completed three writing courses in my 40's at a cost of a few hundred dollars and 18 months; I have participated on over 40 arts and crafts shows; I have promoted 6 of my own; I have built an award-winning website, and have received the praise that goes with it, from hundreds of people around the world. But, in doing so, there's no free lunch; no pie in the sky and no magic dust, either. You're going to have to get out there and earn that praise! When people like you and your work, it builds your confidence level, etc.

You can't please everybody...so, don't try! Trying to please everyone is a confidence-BUSTER for sure! My ex-wife was a person, who tried to please everyone, and she was headed to the mental institution...she did not pass GO and she did not collect $200.00. If people like what I do...fine. If not, they can find somebody else's time to waste!

Humor is the best medicine: I've been in the humor business for over 50 years, and it has been humor that has helped me to keep my chin up during those difficult times. There is not a greater satisfaction than to put a smile on somebody's face and I've done it countless times. Because of the humor, I make friends easily, and because of this, I can tell the people with skeleton's in their closets, to hit the road, etc.

All of us are going to have to choose which road to take...the high road or the low road in life. Many years ago, I chose to take the high road...and you may have guessed that my confidence in very high. So, much so...that I can even walk on water...as long as the pond is frozen over!